You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize