nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
How does it feel to date your dad?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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