You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
