He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
