i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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