My cat gives me a boner
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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