Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize