Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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