Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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