every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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