I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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