Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
