I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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