Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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