My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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