Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I need to align my fucking chakras
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
