Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
