Im at strip club and am horny
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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