guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
