I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
