But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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