I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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