Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
