He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
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Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
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i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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