Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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