the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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