he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
