Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
honey bunches of taint.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
