The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
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I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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