Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
