I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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