yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
