u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
No subtext here. People are naked.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
