You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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