Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
