Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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