that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
dude i'm inner monologue high
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
