I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
