It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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