wrigley field is MILF paradise
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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