Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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