Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
