found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
