he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize