he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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