yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Let's get the cat blown out
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
