Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
