i already hear my dad disowning me
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
