he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize