Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize