Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
