I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize