fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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