Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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