peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
