sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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