Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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