is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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