so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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