there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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