I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
