Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
