apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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