mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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