She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Duck Duck Cougar?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can't turn off my feet"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Who died my cat blue again?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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