It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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