I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
