Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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